I don’t doubt that this will be an unpopular posting but I’m perplexed. Last week we had a 12yr. old boy arrested and charged with the rape of a 4yr. old…a baby, more or less. Rape is a heinous act, the worst manifestation of one weilding power over another and deserves the strongest prosecution and punishment when one is found to be guilty.
Two days ago, in Delaware again, the news broke of a Sussex Co. principal being arrested for the rape of a 17yr. old student. This came about due to an anonymous tip. I’m not privy to all the details…is anyone?…but according to print and radio reports, this principal’s conduct had been ongoing since January of this year and it had been consensual. Yes…I agree that a 38yr. old man should know better, behave much more appropriately…not only (any grown man should) but particularly someone in his position but I do have to ask…what of the 17yr. old? The law deems this rape because of her minority but for a 17yr. old to continue to ”allow rape” for four months?? Yes, of course it can be argued that she did so from fear of any form of reprisal or punishment from her principal and….maybe I’m just too cynical. The man and his behaviour are reprehensible, sick…choose your own adjective. The girl a “victim”…is she? Yes…but a victim of what, exactly? Her principal? Society? Lifestyle?
Unless we are all wandering around with blinders on can’t we see how our youth get to such places in their lives? So many children don’t get the opportunity to be children and haven’t done for a couple of decades….particularly our girls. From early elementary age they are dressed as mini-Madonnas or Brittneys, sporting bare midriffs, some already wearing make-up. By the time they get to middle school the make-up is prevalent, dress much beyond age appropriate and many allowed to date. Girls losing their virginity in mid-teens, unwed mothers while still in high school. Parents…especially Moms…excited or disappointed when their daughters do/don’t have dates for special school events; Prom nights they, with their dates/boyfriends, allowed to stay out all night and the parental response to that is it’s part of growing up, a rite of passage. Ocean City, MD is agog with ‘June Bugs’…no parental supervision (or very little).
My personal feeling is that any grown man should…and needs to…be above the flirting and/or attractions of a schoolchild, a minor by law and there is something very wrong with one who isn’t. But we, as parents, need to do better with the raising of our children. Maybe I’m too harsh or expectations too high…probably am and are…but since when can a 17yr. old NOT understand that an intimate relationship is wrong and NOT ‘cool!’ When we have children we are supposedly committed to raising them to be responsible, independent, knowing-right-from-wrong adults. At eighteen we send them off to college or to a job (hopefully) where they will already be expected to handle their further education or whatever an employer deems necessary…as an adult. My God…at sixteen they are given driving licences and the use of the family car (or worse…their own vehicle), free to come and go when and wherever they like. We don’t know what they are doing, often don’t know where they are going or have been, but we don’t seem to mind this because “they are old enough…they know what they are doing…”. And the law doesn’t mind either until there’s an accident, underage drinking or someone calls rape.
This ‘child’, this minor may well be a victim but IMO she was a victim before she met her principal…of we who encourage such behaviour and think it “cute”, of society, fashion and parents who encourage teens to look, dress and behave like twenty-somethings (for what??) and of herself who, knowing this was a man old enough to be her father, was married, did not think for herself, did not immediately talk to a more responsible adult of either being pressured or just her own immature feelings in an inappropriate situation while this adult male took advantage of them.
There is certainly no excuse, whatsoever, for this principal but how much is there for the young woman involved? And can we, should we, excuse her as a minor therefore ”not knowing any better”, a victim…while the 12yr. old boy awaiting adjudication of his charges will be dealing with consequences of his actions before long. All I’ve seen and heard is sympathy for the girl and fury at the boy. Personally, I can’t see excusing either of them of wrong-doing but how and where would you make the distinction? Bearing in mind that we DO have many great kids who choose not to indulge in any of those behaviours…choose not to.
well, the distinction is that the young girl was probably flattered by the attentions of an older man in a position of authority. She got sucked in. The hurt *she* inflicted is on herself, and indirectly on this foolish principal’s family.
The 12 year old boy, on the other hand, has surely caused long-term psychological damage to a child, as well as physical pain.
I don’t see any comparison between the two crimes.
The twelve year old, IMO, has some serious issues that need to be addressed - accoring to Megan’s Law, once a sex offender, always a sex offender, right?
The Sussex Central teen got involved in a situation that she didn’t have the maturity to handle.
Apples and oranges, my friend.
True, Laurel…there is no comparison between the two crimes but in how the hearing, reading, then commenting public view or address them. Seems the 17yr. old is an automatic ‘victim’ while the 12yrs. old may as well be equated with the 38yr. old adult. As you said, once a sex offender always a sex offender and somehow, the girl escapes this life sentence despite, as it was reported, this was consesual behaviour even though against the law. Are you suggesting that while a 17yrs. old female didn’t have the maturity to handle her situation a 12yrs. old boy did?