Coffee Break?

Just heard that Craig Ferguson took his citizenship test yesterday and will be sworn in,  in the not too distant future.  I guess being a celebrity relaxes the staffers/officials somewhat for thinking back to when I took mine, I seriously doubt they would have allowed a vid-cam to be running or the TIC answers he gave.  Neither my then husband or our daughter could accompany me inside ‘THE ROOM’ and I have to say it was a rather unnerving event.  And trust me…one DOES have to study for this test!  To do so…and when you first apply…they send you a D.A.R. book on the history of the US, complete with Declaration of Independence and other very pertinent information.  I read the first paragraph and skimmed the book across the room.  I’m supposed to take all this information in when they began with “This country was peopled by mostly Scotch / Irish?  Scotch??  See, the only thing that is “Scotch” is that very fine nectar coming out of a bottle (preferably dark green with the GlenFiddich label).  That’s what I was always taught, anyway…until I was a little older and found out there was something, legitimately, known as Scotch Eggs.  But that’s for another time.  I was horrified and annoyed that a book given to would-be citizens, in a very sober and sombre occasion, couldn’t even get my nationality right. 

At any rate, I had no choice but to get over it and study the manual.  Then I had my first interview.  That wasn’t so bad;  a nice gentleman conducted it, with my husband and daughter present and he and I had only one difference of opinion.  He suggested that my daughter be sworn in with me to prevent any possible difficulties when she was old enough for college or such.  I declined.  She had been born in Scotland to a Scottish mother, American father…she had dual nationality and, until she was old enough to make a choice (she would never need to but if she wanted to) she would remain a dual national.  The choice was hers, not ours, to make.  As we were moving right along, I felt a tug at my sleeve.  My daughter.  I tried to make her wait but she persisted.  Her question was, “When you become a citizen, Mama…will you talk differently?  I don’t want you to!”  To date, my burr still gives me away even if not as strong is used to be…and for that I am grateful.

Sometime later came the day of the test and I was a wreck, as I usually was before any test I take (or took).  But off we went to San Francisco, witnesses in tow.  I was called in while everyone in our group remained seated in the hallway.  Questions were asked and answered and then, close to the end, my examiner asked me if I “could speak, read and write English…”  Excuse me???  Having noted my birthplace what did she think?  Swahili?  Urdu?  And then her piece-de-resistance…”Now, prove to me you CAN write in English…write on this line…”I want to be a good American”…”  Not meaning to be offensive to a reader, I was offended.  If I was going to make my home in this country…as I had, in fact, done for ten years at that point…no jail time, not so much as a traffic ticket, an American military wife for already twelve years by then (which is why I was having to become a citizen in the first place)…would I be a “bad” American?  And if I wanted to be a “bad” American would I admit it?  Finally, it was over and it only remained to wait until my swearing in.  That came a few months later.  There were over 50 of us aliens being sworn in that day and I have to confess that I was probably the saddest present in the court.  Nothing against becoming American so much as feeling I was giving up, turning my back on a large part of my identity, my family, my heritage and my loyalties.  The biggest stumbling block for me was the Oath of Allegiance.  Nothing so simple as the Pledge…part of it required we had to swear we would, if called upon to do so, take up arms against all others.  And that would include our country of birth, our kinfolk.  No…it is not laid out as such but there had been a time when that was carefully explained to me…and which I questioned.  I mean when you first complete the application you do have to sign on the dotted line that you are “of good moral character”.  For me that had…and does still…included honesty and truthfulness in all things.  The ramification for me was that I had no choice but to swear this oath but there was also no way I could take up arms or be any way involved in the taking up of arms against my “own”.  At the time I questioned this I was told…”Look…just swear you will, anyway…”.  But isn’t that lying…and isn’t lying immoral?  Well…I didn’t get an answer on the morality and I did go ahead and swear…with fingers crossed.

However, having spoken with other “aliens” who had been sworn in before mewhose experiences were otherwise, I was most fortunate to be sworn in by a very kind, understanding judge who, rather than impress upon us only what we had to gain from being Americans, impressed upon us all what America was gaining from us choosing, like so many before us, to become one.  And that was a welcome, hearfelt touch

Make no mistake, I love this country and it’s people…as much as I love my own.  Yes, Scotland is still my own, the home of my heart and always will be.  In my mind I am a dual national.  So…I’m wondering today…when Craig Ferguson finally gets sworn in will he feel the same?   It’s probably a safe bet that most naturalized citizens…or many, anyway, feel likewise about their country of birth, but not necessarily comfortable admitting it.  Somehow, we always feel a need to ‘go home’.