Coffee Break?

“…four maimed dogs;  three scattered rugs;  two shoulders wrecked and big coffee stains on carpet and couch” 

We bought ourselves a Wii.  And sports games.  And I’m a klutz…or at least not sports (or physical activity) oriented.  Maybe not even co-ordinated.  Seemed like a fun idea…after all, what DO two middle-aged women want or get for Christmas that’s fun, not ‘household’ oriented (like appliances, dishes, pots and pans…eeeuuuwww!).  Last year it was keyboard and a banjo so we needed something to get us up and moving since, for the last twelve months we’ve done nothing but sit around plinka-plunking or playing Ravell one-handed with an invisible ‘orchestra’.  C’mon…get off those chairs, move those limbs…it was either Wii or Richard Simmons DVD’s and we all know HE’S too energetic.

In comes the Wii…and, of course, couldn’t wait to wrap it, put it under the tree.  Oh, no…let’s get started…one, two, three…bounce, get the tennis whites on and hit the court.  I’ve never played tennis in my life…don’t even watch Wimbledon or Forest Lawn (umm…is that the cemetery?)  and have no clue about scoring but that’s no never mind.  The stands were full, we were ready to smash and volley.  Uh-huh.   At least we were luckier than our avatars…they had skinned knees, scraped derrieres, skull fractures I’m sure (though THEIR glasses remained intact).  I didn’t think it a good idea to let the pups in the room where we were playing.  Someone else…famour last words…”Oh, they’ll be fine…”  First game, my serve…and I actually believed I was on a court, running from side to side, forward and back, racquet (remote) raised and whacking the air.  Until it connected with Buddy’s nose.  Oops…could have been worse, he is already a Pug.  Took a dive forward to thwack a serve…up jumps Digger to limp to safety.  Well…I didn’t notice him lying in front of me and, being blind, he sure didn’t see me coming.  Max took off in fear of any physical discomfort and Lucky had his tail stepped on.  Last game was a whack at my partner’s elbow…and this was NOT her avatar.  Figured it was time to play a gentler game of bowling.  Now, being a one-trophy winner of decades ago, my confidence was restored.  The arm still good, body english on the money…totally ignoring the table with the recently filled coffee cup directly behind as I swung the “ball” (remote)…knocked the cup off the table, onto and over the couch, pillow, one dog and a carpet.    I’m very grateful that these remotes have wrist-straps and that there are cautions on every game to make sure they are firmly attached to one’s wrist.  It would take the next five Christmases to replace the 62″ tv, not to mention my guilt.

 Don’t know what either of us will do about our shoulders, though…torn ligaments, rotator cuffs, bursitis, tendonitis?  We have housemaid’s knee, tennis elbow…Wii shoulder?  So, at Christmas, I was given “Dancing With The Stars”.  LOLOLOLOL!  Sure!  The music is good but limbs flailling (and they don’t even score the foot movements), twisting, jerking, locomoting, mashing potatoes…and utterly, utterly failing and bodies aching for two days.  BUT…it’s a great way to get fit.  Next Christmas…skiis!